A long time ago (I feel old saying that!) I gave up on love. I was going through a tough time as I was in denial about my hearing and tried to 'forget' about it and try and be 'normal' just like everyone else. I didn't tell anyone about my hearing and felt ashamed that I had to rely on hearing aids. All I wanted to be was 'normal' like everyone else. It's safe to say I wasn't happy with myself. I gave up with pretty much everything. If I couldn't love myself, "how could anyone love me? Because I'm like THIS?!"... That's what I thought.
I was bullied at school because of my deafness once everyone worked out what was 'wrong' with me. I eventually isolated myself because of my low confidence, pretty much giving up on life. I thought that I didn't deserve to be happy and I am 'not good enough' to live a life like other people because I am deaf.
Years passed, I had experienced depression in school as I felt the lowest of the lows and hated myself. I didn't feel good enough for anything. I left school eventually and soon met this wonderful human being who changed my life dramatically. He taught me many things like how to love myself and how it doesn't matter what other people think. He accepted me as I am. I must admit it did surprise me how well he took it after I had to 'break the news' to him on our first date. He was amazing... Well, he IS amazing!
I have known many people all my life and most I wouldn't consider 'deaf aware' as I have to keep constantly reminding them. I have known my wonderful boyfriend for just over 6 months now and I would definitely consider him to be 'deaf aware'. There are some lovely people out there who will accept you, just like him. I didn't believe that until I met him. He has completely restored my faith in mankind!
It's been a tough few months and he's been by my side 100%. Without him I would be completely lost! When I have my down days about my hearing, he keeps me postive and reminds me how amazing I am and how far I have come (his words not mine!) I'm hoping for many happy memories to be made in the future with him, because he is simply amazing.
To those who are finding it hard to accept their hearing, there is someone out there for everyone. When I gave up, I was lucky to meet my Prince Charming. He is a 'hearing person' and wasn't familiar with communicating with a severely deaf individual and has taken everything on board and been incredibly patient. In the car, loud parties, bowling, the pub, noisy restaurants.... All the places I would avoid, but he makes me feel comfortable with myself, because of him I'm beginning to learn to accept my hearing loss. I hope he knows how special he is to me. Without his support I wouldn't be here today. I feel like the luckiest girl alive!
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