The blame game

I'm sure as many of you know, I unfortunately suffer mild depression. Most of the reason is because of my severe-profound hearing loss.

I feel like I need to get this down on paper as I just don't have the energy for anymore tears this week.

Lately I've been suffering with a cold which has had a big impact on my hearing, so it doesn't exactly help matters! As you would guess, my hearing hasn't been great lately. Car journeys are harder, life in general if harder all because of this damn cold! I know it will clear up soon, but it's absolute hell for me as it makes things harder for me.

I've noticed lately how some people have got angry and frustrated with me when I haven't heard what they said. As a result I feel even worse about myself, particularly when they say "you're not listening!". Lately I've been particularly miserable because of situations like this. The worst part about it is that it involves a loved one. I know this person probably didn't mean it. But i take it to heart. I feel hopeless and worst thing of all?

I blame myself.

I feel so angry with myself for making these relationships frustrating and making people angry and I just want to blame someone. Right now I just blame myself. Today I had plans, but I'm thinking about cancelling them because I just feel so upset and miserable that I want to stay at home, rather than be a burden to others. I know some people may think I'm being "pathetic". But I don't usually think or behave like this, I just feel let down. 

I'm just putting it down as a 'bad day'.

I'll be back to my old self soon enough. I just feel so vulnerable and anxious all the time because of my cold. It makes me feel so tired :-( 

Deaf girl's trip to the Peaks

As I promised, I would write about my recent trip to the Peak District last week. 

I travelled with my boyfriend and his best friend (yep, two guys and myself!). 

I felt a bit apprehensive about it before hand and had my worries, but I actually really enjoyed myself and would love to go back! 

We went from Tuesday and left Friday morning, camping for 2 nights and stayed 1 night in a hostel (a very nice one by the way!). We did plenty of walking and the views were amazing! The photos just don't do their justice. 

As you can imagine, it was pretty cold and windy. Those of you who wear hearing aids would understand the difficulty of communicating with this constant wind blowing into the microphone of your hearing aid/s making a 'shhhhhhh' noise. Anyone familiar with this?

I was a pretty slow walker in comparison to the fully grown guys I was with. I kept saying "I have little legs!". Often when they responded regarding this or something different (from a good distance) I usually couldn't hear them. I mean, they could've said something important like, "watch out there's a man-eating sheep behind you!" (Of course, not that there are 'man eating' sheep... That was just a random example!). 

I was fine though! 

We did some rock climbing (as you can see above). I was a bit nervous about falling off the edge as my balance sometimes lets me down! So as you can see my boyfriend is holding me tight. He's just lovely! 

Overall, I had a fab time. I felt reassured knowing I was safe with a lifeguard and a paramedic! ... That is actually true by the way! Looking forward to some future trips up there! 

Here's a few more pictures:

Deaf girl jumps for joy!

Hi guys! 

I wanted to write a short post about my trip to Jump Street, based in Colchester. In case you haven't heard of Jump Street, here is a picture of inside: 

The general idea is to jump about on the trampolines... Obviously! Although, there are different kinds of activities ranging from, dodgeball (jumping from one square to another), basketball (the basket was different heights, so you basically bounce and throw the ball) and there was an opportunity for free style jumping. To find out more, check it out: http://jumpstreet.co.uk 

When we arrived, it came to my attention that before we were aloud to have some fun, we had to watch a short safety video outlining the 'do's and don't's'. Straight away at the Reception, my boyfriend asked whether there would be subtitles for me, to ensure I understand the safety rules. To my surprise, YES! I was very happy indeed. This ticked the first box of accessibility for deaf custom!

Overall, I had a great time. It certainly was very busy... Kids everywhere! So basically pretty noisy and hard to hear everything. But it wasn't really a place to sit down and have a conversation, because we're obviously too busy having so much fun! :-)

One problem I came across was the dodgeball game. There was a member of staff who was supervising the game. She overlooked the game to ensure it was going smoothly and verbally signalled when you were out. Obviously you can understand why I found this difficult. Too busy bouncing around and getting into the game to realise I was out sometimes! Oops! I didn't realise until looking at the lady who was supervising. Although, this wasn't a major issue, just something that seemed to happen. I had my lovely boyfriend who helped me out most times and signalled if I was out (only if he was sitting on the side lines because he was out himself! Haha!) 

Overall, I was very impressed with accessibility. I know there is nothing you can really do about the noise, but it made me feel happy that the organisation had considered deaf custom! 

Thanks Jump Street!