Monday, 1 February 2016

The Undateables

I'm sure many of you are aware of the programme 'The Undateables' which is a programme broadcast in the UK (google it if you are unaware of it). 

I really think that the name of the show needs to be changed. People with disabilities or other differences are at risk of having low self esteem due to the cruel world with live in of not being accepted by everyone. I wish I could change all those people's ways of thinking so they can see they are normal, just like everyone else! Well, I don't think anyone is 'normal' and if they were, I'm sure they would be very boring! We're all different and if we were the same, the world would be a very boring place. 

This is why I disagree with the choice of the programme name. Just because those individuals are different, it doesn't make them 'Undateable'. I strongly disagree. Yes, an individual may have a facial disfigurement of some sort (I hope that's the correct terminology and apologise if it's not), or they might be deaf (like myself) or whatever! But it doesn't make them 'Undateable'. They may need support finding love (and some even succeed on the show which warms my heart), but the label is placed on those individuals which portrays them in a different way to the rest of us! Most of the people on there have low self esteem, or have had their self esteem knocked. Who is surprised?! I'm not, bless them. I know exactly how they feel. Fear of judgement, fear of misunderstanding etc. The programme title does not help at all with ones self esteem and confidence! 

If someone fails to find love and it doesn't work out, goodness knows what is going on in their heads! The rejection is bad enough for all of us. But being rejected on a programme which has labelled these people 'Undateable' is even worse! Most of the people on there are gutted. 

The programme is a great way to raise awareness of the varying conditions out there that people suffer from and I find this thoroughly interesting! If I didn't watch this programme, I wouldn't be aware of what 'Tourettes' is, and I wouldn't be so open minded as I am now  about these conditions and the effects it has on people! It is certainly a good way to make people understand and be more aware and less likely to make judgements. Although, I have certainly read and heard many comments about the people on there. They are certainly not something you would want to hear. It's terrible. I blame the title of the programme. It can encourage bullying from a view, but not a common cause.

One day a few years ago, I had never had a boyfriend due to hiding my hearing, lack of communication skills, being shy etc. Me and my best friend at the time, were watching the programme. She was aware of my deafness and my 'relationship status', and immediately said "Oh Goldy you should go on there!!" My response was "seriously?!". I always wondered if I would ever find a boyfriend and if I would ever be able to "come out" about my hearing loss and be confident.
A few years later I briefly dated a hearing guy (turned out to be an arsehole-excuse my language haha!) but still, it proved that it was possible for me to date like everyone else. Now, I have met someone wonderful who always lights up my life. He is hearing too. Stephen. My Prince Charming! 

Does my disability mean people have the right to classify me as 'Undateable'? 
No it doesn't. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE has a chance of meeting someone, whether it is a love interest or simply a friendship. Sometimes we need a little help to push us out there or perhaps a 'wingman'. But one thing I must make clear to all of you with disabilities or other conditions. You can do it! Don't let society label you as different or outcasts. Be proud of who you are and one day, someone will see through that and will see what wonderful people you are with a brilliant personality.

This reminded me of a blog comment I received from this 'lady' on Twitter who names herself @SpinGee. She commented on a blog post of mine and said to me along the lines of "you are not normal and you never will be". You may have read my explosive response. I have reported this 'lady' for harassment and bullying as I then received a string of comments (now deleted) from her refusing to apologise and kicking me down some more. Basically, she was being a BULLY, or simply an Internet 'troll'. Making me feel different. If you have the time, please report this poor excuse of a 'lady', as people like her should not be on Twitter. #banthetrolls

Love you guys! 
Feel free to comment (nice comments only please!) If you disagree, I will respect your opinion, just as you respect mine) 

I'm different, but I'm not 'Undateable'! 
'Normal' is boring! 


  1. I agree! Just because you have a disability doesn't classify you as 'Undateable'! That's rubbish. You're absolutely right everyone has the chance to meet someone, whether it is a love interest or friendship. That's awful of that 'lady' to say along the lines of you aren't normal and never will be. What is normal anyway? Everyone is different and that what makes us interesting. You just happen to be deaf and experience things differently from an average hearing person. I know it is hard (I'm deaf), but the way I see it that maybe we're deaf for a reason. Perhaps we were given this disability because we're strong and use our voice for other people who are afraid. Food for thought :)