Monday, 4 May 2015

The lifeguard.

 It's easy to feel depressed when I think about how deaf I am. My thoughts and anxieties take over and drown me each time. I feel worthless and stuck. 
It's important that I do something about it to stop myself from drowning. I can't do anything about my thoughts. The more I  try not to think about something, the more I think about it. 

Meeting my boyfriend 'S' (who happens to be a lifeguard!) has helped me and stopped them drowning thoughts. Every time I see him, the drowning thoughts stop, my anxieties fade. I have everything I need in front of me. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh and even makes my tinnitus stop (or at least, less noticeable). 'S' is my 'tinnitus eraser'. I honestly don't know what I would do without his support these past couple of weeks. He's truly amazing. Unique. Nothing could compare to him. 

So as it happens, a lifeguard saved me from drowning. 

It doesn't mean my negative thoughts have magically gone away, but he has still saved me. Knowing I have his support has made me feel better about myself. 

It's amazing how someone can mean so much to you in such a short period of time. I truly feel like the luckiest/proudest  girl in the world.

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